Bläh

lately, a lot of people have suggested that i should do modeling. people on the blog, friends and people stops me at the street once in a while. i appreciate it a lot, but i am so unsure. i don't feel comfortable with my self, and i am so unsure about everything i do. except for the "remove-my-perfectionism-part". i hate being a perfectionist, it takes from me the opportunity be creative at all the places i need to be creative. it is like a disease. my life is a white sheet with ruler-lines and compass-sircles. and i hate it.
butbutbut... when i take pictures of my self, i never like them. and my blog is just crap. i just post things for the posts sake, not because i am inspired or want to post anything with real quality. that's what i want. help me, somehow.
update: i din't come to the point. you know, sometimes you just write, and you don't know what you write. this post wasn't acutally meant to be mainly about modeling- more about my insecure(right word?) and how i was planning to express more of my life at the blog, but it just became... not very me... it is me. dark, white, clean, minimalistic, enclosed, try to upen up for other people, but ending up being just as shy as i was. i did\t get to express me right this time, either, but i think this is better. and it isn't about the modeling. that is just a factor.